The Summit
by StratusCloudSurfer
Summary: Red goes to Mt. Silver to forget. Can he ever be convinced to come down? Trigger warning: contains heavily implied themes of abuse and violence.


**_Author's note: WARNING! This story contains implied themes of abuse and sexual violence. It is not my intent to harm anyone by my writing. PLEASE DO NOT READ IF THESE THEMES WOULD BE TRIGGERING FOR YOU. _**

_**Thank you for reading.**_

I.

The wind swirled snow on the cold, still mountaintop. Red stared blankly at his shivering and agitated opponent—he could no longer feel the harsh chill of the mountain.

"Come on, Red," Blue said desperately, hurt and sadness crashing like water on icebergs in his eyes, "We're all worried about you. You need to come home."

Red watched how emotion played fiercely across his friend's face—how his eyebrows bunched, his cheeks heated red with frustration. His hot breath made warm steam clouds that blew away in the chilled night.

Hot. Hot breath. Red felt his insides twist and could almost feel the skin on his shoulder crawl at the memory of His hot, disgusting breath on his neck.

Red clenched his teeth tightly and willed it away.

He could not come down.

"Please, Red," begged Blue. "Say something. Anything."

Red turned away silently. If he spoke, it would bring him back to the last time he did so. The last time he was forced to. His mind shut down the connection between his thoughts and his words like a thick iron curtain.

He turned back to Blue. So much emotion played across his features—anger, hurt, and something that looked almost like sadness.

Emotion. Red turned his eyes to his feet. He used to be able to feel that once.

No. Red closed his eyes and blockaded the memory again.

"What the hell," continued Blue in obvious frustration. "What's wrong with you?"

He took a step closer. Suddenly Red's vision went dark and he was no longer on the mountain.

_A dark room. Concrete floors and walls. Surrounded. _

Red did not know he had sent out a Pokémon until he heard the crack of a pokeball opening in his hand. It was loud and distinct and completely on reflex. Light exploded in his palm as Charizard appeared with a mighty roar that resonated off the slopes. Blue stumbled back, holding his arms up as if expecting an attack.

"Damn it Red!" Blue cried. "Is this what you want?! To stand up here and scare off people who are trying to help you?!"

Anger splintered through Red in waves. He didn't need Blue's help. He hadn't asked for it. He hadn't truly felt an emotion in so long that he felt the fury consume him like fire. It beat through his chest heavily and ran through his veins. Suddenly it wasn't Blue in front of him but a man dressed all in black.

_The man chuckled and smirked sadistically and he threw a pokeball and Rhydon came out._

Red's mind shut off completely. He fought fiercely and ruthlessly. The ground trembled and the skies quaked and cracked with fire and forked with lightning.

Finally, Blue called back his Pokémon and did not send out another. Only then did Red return to the night on the mountain top and the hurt in his friend's eyes. The wind had quieted and it had stopped snowing. Above them, the clouds were breaking up, showing bright pinpricks of stars glittering like tears through the gaps.

"I don't know what happened to you, Red," said Blue, eyes shining in the darkness. "But I'm sorry."

He hung his head and returned down the mountain.

II.

Another day near sunset, Red sat staring out the opening of the cave that he had called his home since coming to this mountain. From this cave on the side of the summit, he could look down and see peak after peak of snow covered mounds all along the mountain range. He took in the rolling highs and lows and the skies above dripping pink and orange as he sipped Sitrus tea and Pikachu slept curled beside him. He turned to watch the warm sleeping Pokémon's ears twitch and its belly rise and fall as it dreamed.

On evenings like this he convinced himself that this was all that ever was and that this mountain was the only place he had ever inhabited and ever existed. He hoped that if he believed in the daylight hours that his nightmares didn't leave him shaking and sweating in the morning and his flashbacks didn't render him incapable of movement for hours in the darkness of night that it would actually become true.

There was only Now, and the snow that swirled in the sunset breeze and the waning gold edges of the mountain peaks in the distance and the sound of Pokémon cries far below on Mount Silver.

Red dreaded closing his eyes.

He had no idea how long it had been since he had first come here. Time turned slowly and as if on its on accord. Red kept no watch on him to keep track, as he wished the minutes and hours would simply blur into an endless eternity in which no memory could exist.

Occasionally an ace trainer or hiker made it here, to the top, and the same thing that came over Red when Blue had been here the first time came over him again and he defended himself as if his life depended on it.

Blue had come back several times. He was the only one Red allowed less than twenty feet away from him. Once he even allowed Blue into his cave, where he made tea and Blue talked for an eternity and Red did not. Blue spent most of the time staring brokenly at him when he wouldn't fill the silence he left between his thoughts, and always glanced back before he returned down the mountain each time.

Tonight, like most nights, he was alone.

The light fell and evening painted the sky dark purple and navy. The wind picked up and eerily howled as it blew, whistling like voices across the vast slopes. It almost sounded to Red like a woman was calling into the night tonight, a high, lonesome sound.

_Red… Red…_

Red's ears pricked. It almost sounded like the mountains were calling his name. Red leaned forward and listened as the sounds grew more and more recognizable.

"Red? … Red?"

Red got to his feet when he realized someone was out there, looking for him.

Red felt rooted to the spot as he stood halfway in and halfway out of the cave opening. He looked back at Pikachu and noticed that his heart was pounding heavily in his chest.

He forced himself out of the cave and into the night.

Red followed the voice. He could hear two now as he reached the summit. His fingers tingled with numbness as two figures came into view. A couple of steps closer and he saw them.

Professor Oak and—

His eyes widened incrementally. He opened his mouth and the word almost fell out, but his brain wouldn't let it.

_Mom?_

The two turned around. Their eyes widened when they saw him.

"It's really him," remarked the Professor.

"Oh, Red!" cried his mother. She held out her arms and closed the gap between them, embracing him in a tight hug.

The flashback lunged like a dark creature to the forefront of his mind. Suddenly, his breath caught in his throat and his heart stopped beating.

He fought out her grasp like a wild Pokémon from a pokeball and stumbled a few steps backward. In his panic he almost didn't see the tears standing in her eyes.

Red's stomach twisted in shame. Suddenly he couldn't swallow.

Professor Oak came forward and placed a hand on his mother's shoulder. She didn't flinch or move away as he would have. Red's eyes slid away; he couldn't bear to look them in the eyes.

"I guess you're wondering how we found you," said Oak.

"It was Blue," his mother confessed. "He didn't want to tell us, but he did. He warned that you might be like this."

_Like this._ The words were a punch to the gut. Red stared steadily down at his feet while his stomach churned uncomfortably. The silence seemed to intensify the gravity on the mountain as his mother and the Professor waited for him to speak up.

"It's been so long since you've been home, Red," his mother said when he didn't. A single tear cut down her cheek, then another. "I miss you so much."

She clutched onto the coat on Professor Oak's chest. Red's entire body shook. His vision blurred and the entire mountain seemed to shift under him. The wind whistled mournfully around him, as if embodying his mother's anguish and his own despair.

"Red," said Oak softly, "Blue told us that something very traumatic must have happened to you. Is that true?"

_The smile of the dark-clothed man. The sinister brown glow of his eyes. _

_Out of usable Pokémon. _

Red instinctively took a step back and took Charizard's pokeball from his belt.

"Whoa, Red," said Oak, voice tight. He sounded afraid. He should be afraid. "Come back to us."

He hadn't realized he had left, but now he did. He slowly lowered his hand to his side, forcing his tight muscles to relax.

"Whatever happened is not your fault. Come back with us to Pallet Town. We can help you there."

"Please Red," sobbed his mother. "Come back home."

He couldn't feel the tips of his fingers anymore. He squeezed them into his palms in an attempt to return sensation to them.

He shook his head no.

"But why, Red?" asked his Mom, detaching herself from the Professor. "You'll be safe there. We can—"

A CRACK! And Charizard appeared. The Professor and his mother took several paces back as they realized that Red wasn't negotiating. Relief rushed warm through Red's veins and feeling returned to his fingers.

Shame and agony flooded through him just as quickly. Blue was right. There really was something wrong with him. But now he couldn't make himself relax, and his heart wouldn't stop beating fast, and he couldn't allow the two of them to stay any longer.

Red held out his arm, and Charizard blew orange flames into the night sky.

"Okay, Red, we understand. We're leaving now," said Professor Oak, his voice slightly panicked.

The Professor turned promptly and disappeared down the slope. His mother lingered a few seconds longer, tears sparkling in the night as the wind carried them away. Red studied her face. It was wan and pale and sadness flooded her eyes, but even after he had threatened to scorch them both, she did not look afraid.

"I love you, Red," she said softly.

Then she, too, turned around. She met Professor Oak fifty feet away and glanced back only once before descending down the mountain. Red watched as the two disappeared.

He stayed rooted to the spot for a long time afterwards. His vision blurred and he didn't know why. When the wind blew he felt moisture on his cheeks. He brought a hand to his face and found tears rolling hot from his eyes.

He swiped them away and returned to the cave.

III.

_It was dark. He had nothing left to fight with. _

_Red held tightly to his KO'd Charizard's pokeball. The man's brown eyes seemed to glow ominously in the low light. A smile formed on his lips. _

_"Now you're going to do whatever I tell you to, Red," said the man. "Say, 'yes, sir.'"_

_Red's jaw clenched. He didn't move or speak. _

_Out of the shadows a Pokémon slashed across his legs with sharp claws. Red cried out in pain and his knees buckled. _

_"Is that clear?" he demanded. Red flinched at the tone of his voice._

_Red's heart pounded and he bowed his head to the earth. "Yes sir," he conceded. _

His eyes opened.

Escaping from the clutches of the nightmare, Red's body shook and his heart pounded with terror. He sat up and brought his knees into his chest and panted and trembled.

He hadn't forgotten. A deep, sick, aching feeling invaded the pit of his stomach and throbbed between his shoulders. He buried his face in his knees. So long in the timeless eternity of the mountain, and he still hadn't forgotten.

It took a few minutes for it to feel as if the cave had stopped spinning and solid ground had returned to under him. Gradually, his heart stopped pounding and he looked up. It was cold and bright. Daylight was breaking.

He grabbed his belt of pokeballs beside him and stepped out into the morning.

For hours and hours, he trained on the mountainside, trying to drown the nightmare in the light and sweat of the morning. Usually this worked, but today it didn't. Today the memory kept crawling through the door of his mind like a shadow. Again and again it returned, making his heart beat with fear before he suppressed it again with the red-hot ashes of his fury.

After all this time living with a trainer incapable of speech, Red's Pokémon somehow knew what he wanted them to do without him saying a word. The strong wild Pokémon of Mount Silver were scorched with fire and drowned in waves at the flick of the silent master's wrist.

He trained until the light drained out of the sky and out of his eyes. Clouds covered the sun in the early afternoon and snow began to fall. The fierce wind slanted it sideways and the whole mountain howled and seemed almost to sway with the gusts.

The memory was still there. Red's fingers shook and he balled them into his palms to make them stop.

_"Oh, the mighty Red," the man said to him, picking up his chin. "How mighty are you without all of your Pokémon to protect you?" _

_The man touched him, and for the first time Red completely panicked. He writhed and fought but the restraints around his wrists were bound too tightly. _

_"Oh, I'm going to enjoy this," He said, and laughed. _

Red's feet had brought him to the top of the mountain. He was sweating and breathless and shaking all over and he didn't remember consciously trying to get here. He bunched his fingers into his hair and pulled and paced and screamed incoherently with the wind.

_"Now be a good little kid and be quiet." _

His stomach churned and the ground swayed. His entire body quaked.

Red fell to his knees in the snow. The memory flew away.

He wasn't sure how long he stayed there, bent over in the snow. He buried his hands in it. They throbbed painfully and quickly lost all feeling.

He listened to the whistling of the wind as it whipped powdery snow in angry bursts all around. It cried and it cried and it cried in crests and waves and the night sang a mournful duet. There was the sorrow of Mount Silver and the sorrow that coursed through his veins and nothing else under the murky, clouded ceiling above.

Until there was.

Red looked up at the sound of footsteps. A figure was approaching through the snow.

His teeth clenched and his heart pounded. He stood up and extracted Pikachu's pokeball.

"Hello?" a clear female voice called, breaking through the night, "Is someone up there?"

Red didn't answer. Black blobs invaded the edge of his vision.

The sound of footsteps grew louder as the girl's boots crunched through the snow and ice. Eventually she came into view, bright red cheeks flushed and brown pigtails blowing with the wind. She held onto her big white hat with one hand to keep it from flying away.

She stopped when she saw him, standing with fire in his eyes and fury in his face. With his teeth bared and his clothes whipping in the wind, he must have looked half feral.

"I'm not going to hurt you," she said softly.

_"This won't hurt if you don't struggle," he said. _

"Do you need help?" she asked.

_"No one is here to help you," he said. _

Just like that, the girl and the mountain and the snow were all gone. All Red saw was a dark man approach him in a dark room.

Red threw the pokeball.

The girl threw hers.

"Ampharos!" she cried.

Pikachu sprang from the pokeball, lightning crackling on its cheeks.

Red swept his arm sideways, and Pikachu's tail lit silver and it twisted and slammed into Ampharos with an Iron Tail.

"Toxic!" she yelled, and in her voice Red heard power.

Pikachu doubled back and slammed into Ampharos with a Volt Tackle, injuring itself in the process. Ampharos's Rock Gem missed, but Pikachu fell after dodging and fainted due to Poison.

Red immediately sent out Snorlax. Red motioned for it to use Crunch.

"Toxic!" the girl commanded once more. The Ampharos fell shortly after to Crunch, but not before inflicting poison his Snorlax.

Red began to sweat. His pulse raced beneath his skin.

"Go, Meganium!" she shouted, and the Pokémon cried happily as it appeared in a flash of light.

Rhydon was on the field.

_"You may as well give up, Red," said the man. "There's no way you're going to win with all that Toxic damage." _

_Red fought on, but as his Pokémon fell, his stomach sank. _

_He knew he was cornered. _

Snorlax hit Meganium hard with Blizzard. The Pokémon barely hung on, and the last of Snorlax's health was sapped by leech seed.

Red threw out Charizard. The girl couldn't get a command out before Meganium was scorched by Flare Blitz.

She sent it back and sent out another just as quickly. "Tauros!" she cried when it appeared. "Rock Slide!"

_Charizard fell out of the sky. Red recalled it before it could make impact with the floor. _

_"That's it, Red," He said. "It's over." _

But it wasn't over. It would never be over.

Red threw out Venusaur. Tauros dealt massive damage with Thrash, but Venusaur gained most of it back with Giga Drain. Two turns and confusion damage. Tauros's knees buckled and it cried as it fell. The girl returned it and sent out an Espeon.

"Espeon, Psychic!"

The attack hit hard. Red called Venusaur fainted, and Red called it back.

_"Now you're going to do whatever I tell you to, Red." _

Acid crawled up his throat and Red suddenly felt lightheaded.

Still he fought.

Blastoise was opposing Espeon. Psychic again dealt huge damage, and Red was sure the Pokémon was holding a special item now.

Blastoise used Blizzard. Espeon cried and fell.

"Arcanine!" the girl yelled, and the Pokémon cheerfully appeared. It's shiny orange coat gleamed and sparkled. "Extreme Speed!"

Blastoise fell and Red sent out his final Pokémon.

He felt like the world was spinning and his legs were made of jelly. He was sure he was going to faint. He was disoriented and confused and unsure of where he was anymore.

All he knew was that he was in a battle, and he couldn't afford to lose.

He threw his arm up, and Lapras used Hydro Pump. After being hit with an Extreme Speed, it blasted the Arcanine at close range with a powerful jet of water. The Pokémon fell and the girl sent it back.

"Alright," the girl said, mostly to herself, "This is it!" and threw out her final Pokémon as well.

Red signaled for Psychic as darkness crowded his vision.

"Grass Knot!" the girl commanded, and the Azumarill followed suit.

The attack was hitting hard, but so was Psychic.

Psychic once more.

Grass Knot once more.

Azumarill ate a Sitrus berry.

_No,_ Red thought.

"Yes!" the girl exclaimed. "One more time, use Grass Knot!"

_It's over,_ Red thought. Lapras hit with one more Psychic. It wasn't enough. It cried and fell to the final Grass Knot, and the pokeball Red was holding sucked it back before he could consciously think to do so.

Red's hands shook. His fingers again felt numb. He seemed to be having a hard time breathing. He had been defeated. He had lost for the first time since that day so long ago that terrorized him even now. That man had won again. He always won and always would win.

Inside he felt broken in a million ways and he didn't know how to fix himself.

The girl across from him stared at him wide-eyed, still clutching Azumarill's pokeball in her hand. Red's heart beat slowed finally as he returned to the windy night on the mountain, and his eyes slowly widened as well.

She was not who he expected her to be.

She was not him.

None of his opponents, he realized, had been him. They were all different souls seeking different things—the top of the mountain, a strange and fabled new challenger, or, in the case of Blue, his mom, and the Professor, the broken boy on the summit that they wished to find.

All this time, he had been fighting others off to fight off the weakness in himself. Now he realized he had been living in the very thing he had been trying to avoid.

His fear was misplaced. He had been fighting the wrong thing. It wasn't the memory that needed to be defeated but the control it had over him.

His body stopped quaking. The dizziness abated and the sickness in his stomach cleared. The darkness on the edge of his vision disappeared, and he could see clearly again for the first time in ages.

The girl stared at him in disbelief for a long few moments, then took a few steps closer. She stopped five feet away and she examined him and he examined her. Her eyes were brown as well, but they were warm and kind.

"My name is Lyra," she said finally. "Who are you?"

Red considered saying his name for a long time, but it had been so long since he had spoken that he wasn't sure he remembered how. Instead, he pointed to his jacket, then his hat, and then to the top of a pokeball he'd extracted from his belt.

"Red," she breathed finally, like the word itself was a revelation. Her eyes flickered up to meet his.

Red nodded and spared a very slight smile for Lyra. Then he waved, walked past her, and began his own journey down the mountain.

IV.

Red arrived at the Pokémon Center at the base of Mount Silver as dawn was breaking. When he looked up, he could clearly see the summit through thinning clouds. The yellow sun edged over the horizon and lit the light blue dome of the sky slowly in pastels.

Red entered the building through sliding glass doors. The nurse at the counter seemed surprised at someone else's presence.

"Hello," she said, "Welcome to the Pokémon Center. May I heal your Pokémon?"

Red took the pokeballs from his belt and set them on the counter. She picked them up and put them one by one into the machine.

A calendar on the wall caught his eye, and Red went over to it. Upon seeing the month, shock ran through him. He picked it up and thumbed through the months, just to be sure, counting back to the month he left.

Finally, he took the entire thing to the nurse and set it down on the counter. She seemed confused about his actions until he pointed to the day after the last crossed off day on the calendar several times.

"Oh," she said at last, "How forgetful of me. This isn't even on the right month!"

Red watched in horror as she flipped two more pages and crossed nineteen more days off.

"There we go, all better. Thanks for pointing it out to me," she said with a smile, and handed it back to him.

Red stood holding it in both hands and staring down at it for a long time. He thought back to his time on the mountain. The mornings, noons, and nights. The sunlight and the snow and the slopes. Could it have really been this long?

According to the calendar, he had been gone for over a year.

After his Pokémon were healed and the sun was creeping higher in the sky, Red mounted Charizard and glided back to Pallet Town. Charizard cut through the clear blue sky, and Red watched the ground and the cities and towns of the region he called home so long ago pass him by.

Red's stomach twisted with nostalgia. He wished only to turn back time. Briefly, he imagined that Charizard's gliding was turning back the clock, back to the way it used to be when he and Blue fought like the rivals they were and training Pokémon was a fun and exhilarating experience.

In a way, he thought, he was. He was going back home, back where everything started with a choice between three Pokémon.

And he had chosen this one.

Charizard landed in the center of Pallet town and Red climbed off. The morning was still and uninterrupted. The only sound was the singing of Pidgey. Red returned his Pokémon and walked to the house of his greatest rival—and best friend.

He knocked three times on the front door. Several moments passed, and he knocked once more.

At first, Red was sure that Blue and his sister must still be asleep. He was just about to turn away when the door opened.

A sleepy Blue answered him, light brown hair tousled from his slumber. He was rubbing his eyes when he opened the door and abruptly stopped when he saw who was standing in front of him.

Blue's mouth fell open. "Red?"

They locked eyes, and Red nodded. Blue burst into a goofy grin. His entire face lit up and he seemed to stand a little taller as well.

"I can't believe it's you!" he said. "I'm so glad you're back! Red, I—"

Red held up a finger and Blue stopped speaking instantly. He pulled out a small notebook from his breast pocket and a pen from behind his ear.

"Okay," said Blue excitedly, and leaned on his arm against the threshold as he waited.

Finally, Red turned the notebook to him, showing him three short words written in all caps.

I WANT HELP.

Blue stared at it for what seemed like an eternity. His eyes softened and his eyebrows rose. He turned back to Red's eyes and solemnly nodded.

"You've come to the right place," he said.

Red felt his insides grow warmer and his heart grow lighter than it had felt in over a year. Blue smiled at him with a wide grin that almost split his face apart. For the first time in a long time, Red felt happiness spread through him.

He smiled back.


End file.
